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Reflective Listening I
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Check My Assignment!Instructions: People communicate words and ideas, and sometimes it seems appropriate to respond to the content of what someone has just said. Behind the words, however, lie the feelings. Often it is most helpful to respond to the feelings.
Following are statements made by people with problems. For each statement, first identify the feeling; write down the word you think best describes how the person might be feeling. Next, write a brief empathic response—a short sentence that includes the feeling. Refer to the sample openers provided in Chapter 7 under the heading “Useful Responses.”
- “When I was in court, the defense attorney really pounded me. You know, like he thought I was lying or didn’t believe me or thought I was exaggerating.”
FEELING:
EMPATHIC RESPONSE:
- “Those dirty, lousy creeps! Everything was fine in my life, and they really, really ruined everything! I don’t care if I go on or not. Why live if someone can just take everything away from you in one night?”
FEELING:
EMPATHIC RESPONSE:
- “I know you said this is temporary housing and all, but I never had a place like this place. I can’t stand to think I have to move again sometime, and God knows where I’ll go.”
FEELING:
EMPATHIC RESPONSE:
- “This whole setup is the pits. He gets to stay in the house after beating me half to death, and I have to go to this cramped little room. Does that make sense?”
FEELING:
EMPATHIC RESPONSE:
Instructions Part II: Now go back and respond to the content in each of these vignettes.
Reflective Listening II
Instructions: People communicate words and ideas, and sometimes it seems appropriate to respond to the content of what someone has just said. Behind the words, however, lie the feelings. Often it is most helpful to respond to the feelings.
Following are statements made by people with problems. For each statement, first identify the feeling; write down the word you think best describes how the person might be feeling. Next, write a brief empathic response—a short sentence that includes the feeling. Refer to the sample openers provided in Chapter 7 under the heading “Useful Responses.”
- “Sometimes it kind of makes me sick to think of all the stuff I did when I was drinking. I’d like to go and take it all back, but how do you ever do that?”
FEELING:
EMPATHIC RESPONSE:
- “I just can’t go out in the car. All I hear is the screech of tires and the awful thud and scrape of metal. I thought I was dying. I can see it all before me as if it was yesterday.”
FEELING:


